Monday, 28 November 2011

விட்டாச்சு லீவு

சென்னையில் ஆங்காங்கே ஒரு சில இடங்களில், மிதமானது முதல் பலத்த மழை வரை பெய்ய வாய்ப்பு இருப்பதாக திரு.ரமணன் அவர்கள் 'தெளிவாக' சொல்லிவிட்டதால் கடந்த 6 நாட்களாக ஸ்கூலில்  லீவ் அறிவித்து விட்டார்கள். (இந்த 6 நாட்களில் மொத்தம் 5 செ.மீ  மழை பெய்திருக்குமா என்றால் சந்தேகம் தான்!)

குழந்தைகள் இருவரும், எழுந்த அரை மணி நேரத்தில் வீட்டை போர்க்களம் போல் ஆக்கிவிடுகிறார்கள்.
ஒரு பத்தடி கூட எதன்மீதும் இடித்து கொள்ளாமல் அல்லது எதையும் மிதிக்காமல் நடக்க முடியவில்லை. வீடெங்கும் பென்சில், க்ரயான்ஸ், பேப்பர், பொம்மைகள் (இன்னும் பல தரையில் இருக்க தேவையில்லாத சாமான்களும் ) இறைபடுகிறது..

கீழிருந்து எந்த ஒரு பேப்பரை எடுத்தாலும், அதில் ஒரு சின்ன ஓவியம் கண்டிப்பாக இருக்கிறது. குழந்தைகள் உலகத்தில் ஒரு பெரிய சௌகர்யம் - இந்த பொருள், இந்த வண்ணம் தான் என்று எந்த ஒரு கட்டுப்பாடும் இல்லை. பச்சை சூரியன், நீல பூனை -இப்படி. (காக்கைக்கும் கருப்பிலிருந்து விமோசனம் கிடைகிறது !)

ஒவ்வொருநாளும் இரவு தூங்குமுன் "ஏன் தான் லீவ் விடுகிறார்களோ?" என்று சலித்துக்கொண்டே வீட்டை சரி செய்கிறேன். ஆனாலும் காலை எழுந்தவுடன், இன்று குழந்தைக்கு லீவ் என்ற எண்ணம் சந்தோஷத்தையே தருகிறது!

Friday, 25 November 2011

Patience for dummies


A good friend of mine keeps asking me how I am keeping my cool, for most of the things..I finally found the answer and thought about sharing it too..

For Women: Watch Test match with your husband while Rahul Dravid is playing. ( If it is V.V.S Laxman in the other end, this patience learning process is going to be quicker). This should go on for 1 hr every day for at least 3 consecutive  matches. You can notice that, this is the only time your partner doesn't care about the existence of remote. There is one added advantage though; if your dinner doesn't come out well, then this is the time to give him! (He can even eat brinjal seasoned pasta now..) None of the meditation techniques can teach you patience this quickly!

For Men: You can try watching mega serials with your wife. Still, I am sure Rahul Dravid is the best choice

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

How to be successfully annoying in Facebook?

Here are some tips:

Want to be an eligible bachelor? 

                      Then start writing (and linking ) all society related issues. Keep attached and informed about Anna Hazare, Anti Corruption Movement etc., (The girls should forget that you are the one who bunked all the NCC/NSS classes in  college!!)
Want a 'Youth' image? 
                    Then these words are must in your text - cool, dude, man!, yar!, LOL etc.. Also make sure none of your words are in their correct spelling -donw, wtsup like that (readers should loose at least few hairs decrypting your message)
For girls
             Keep posting the pictures of you and your friends. You must look like Catherine Zeta Jones in all the photos ( doesn't matter even if rest of your friends look like characters of horror movie..)
For Husbands 
             Is your wife mad about you, for not spending enough time at home?? Then keep posting the pictures of you and your wife, you and your kids till she finally understands that you actually want to see them, all the time (only in pictures?)

For Housewives
           Keep wishing others for Anniversaries, Birthdays, House warming, baby showers etc, You will soon be the sweet-heart of everyone including your in-laws.
For IT men
           Want a "Brilliant guy" tag ?  Then write heavy subjects like Astrophysics ,Women Power, World Economy in paras with sentences separated only with commas.  (புரிஞ்ச மாதிரியும் இருக்கணும் ஆனா யாருக்கும் புரியவும் கூடாது.கிட்டத்தட்ட கமல் ஹாசன் பேச்சு போல)
Are you a pretty lass? 
             Already have a fan following at college or office? Then you can write almost anything. Even if you write ' ate millagai bajji - stomach upset - going to threw up ', 6 or 7 men would promptly  "Like it" within half an hour.
Are you above 60?
             Then you must be in Facebook more often than rest of the world. In this way you can show the world that you are strong (technically). Added advantage - You still have the chance to watch over your children.
For All :
       Link all the videos you watch in Facebook. Doesn't matter whether it is good or not. You watched it, right??good enough for rest of the world to view it..
For those who write in Tamil:
               "கடவுள் ஆக
                மனிதனின்
                வரத்திற்கு 
                காத்திருக்கும்
                 கல்."           - இது போன்று, மடக்கி மடக்கி கவிதை எழுத தெரிந்திருக்க வேண்டும்.

அல்லது, "கடுகு டப்பாவும் பின்னே ஞானும்"  என்று தலைப்பு வைக்க தெரிய வேண்டும். ("பின்னே ஞானும்" என்று தலைப்பில் இருந்தால் இலக்கிய வாசம் வரும் என்று, நண்பர் ஒருவர் தன் மாமியார் மேல் சத்தியம் செய்கிறார். )




Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Being a toddler's mother

I enjoy certain privileges of being a 2 year old's mom

  1. Search Engine : 'Anything Anywhere' home gets you to be a better search engine than Google. ( O ya! I can find car keys from fridge and crayons from shoe rack)
  2. Advice Taker : Next to pregnant woman and new born's  mom (that's the order), a toddler's mom can take any load of advice. Every elder has some tips for you on parenting.
  3. Advice Giver : Time to payback the world. Any passerby toddler's mom, new born's mom and pregnant woman ? (order reversed) Load them with lessons you have learnt all along and that should include 'don't listen to everyone!'
  4. Fruits are in your life. That means you can be in "apple" shape or "pear" shape. Nobody cares. After all you are a toddler's mom! you have ghee soaked rice or thick curd dripping idli to finish. (Just don't stare at Shreya or Kareena Kapoor pictures for too long) 
  5. Hopeless Boaster : You can talk about how smart your kid is, for endless hours. Still there would be people ready to listen and smile every time. (Needless to say those people are your parents and in-laws)
  6. 'Super busy' - title: You may have all the time in the world. Still people would think you are busy. Nobody knows that your main job is watching your toddler not doing any adventure. Use this excuse where and when possible.
  7. Privileged late comer : Does anybody dare to ask you why you are late for the party or function?  No way! Blame it on the kid. chapter closed..     

my Beethoven turns 2



just a small peep into our home on a Sunday morning..

AMMMMMMMMAAAA  it is 5:30 AM and both the kids are awake.
 (any idea why kids get up so early in the holidays??)

morning - BOOOOOO BOOOOO- (both crying at the same time)
They both want the same toy at the same moment..I am the judge here :- my judgment would roughly be based on two things - who is crying louder and who could cry longer (and that would invariably favor Shyam)

midday -XZXXXXXXYYYYY  ( TV blaring with some cartoon character squeaking )

me - Sruthi, I didn't know we are sharing TV with neighbors..
Sruthi - but, there is no remote.
I would be in remote searching mode for a while ; would find remote in 'remote'ly possible place and that would be in the garden/ kitchen cupboard / shoe rack and other endless possibilities

evening - CLICK CLICK CLICK - 

Sruthi - amma, Shyam is playing with appa's office laptop
on hearing the word 'office' Suresh would just appear out of nowhere..
Suresh (tense)- Vigna , Get it from him; I already lost 2 keys. 
I would blink as though I have been asked to snatch AK 47 from Osama Bin Laden. Time to prayog sama/dhana/bedha/dhanda technique

deep silence - 8 PM
Sruthi - amma, Shyam just spilled oil on the floor and mopping it.

DAMAALLL
and this time its me.. i just fainted. see you all later.

Happy Birthday Shyam. Without you, world would be dumb to us!