Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Tips for a wannabe poet. (கவிஞனாவது எப்படி?)

Its quite so boring to see the world filled with professional men like Doctors, Engineers, Bankers and not to forget the Software guys (Can someone tell me why every alternative person on earth writes software?). So I've decided to make the planet interesting by introducing POETS!

All the tips (or ground rules, to be exact) are free of cost! But, I don't mind if you spread news about my philanthropy or my blog. 
                                            

Now, go on - read, follow and rock the world!

1. Shopping first : Please go to FabIndia and choose a kurtha in the dullest possible colour. Be careful in not buying more than one.Otherwise the ladies at home may wash it without your knowledge! I hope you have some worn-out jeans to match it with. If not, ask your mom the whereabouts of your dead-rat smelling old jeans (most possibly she would have exchanged it for some utensils) and get it back.        
Don't forget to add 'Jolna' bag to your shopping list. Soon you are going to fill it with papers and books.


2. Get that look! Have you seen cancer struck 'Kamal' in 'Vazhve maayam'? That's exactly how a Poet  should look. Never cut your hair, never apply oil and make sure you grow beard and mustache. Initially people would ask whether you are suffering from Pneumonia or cholera or some other deadly disease. (Sometimes they may even think you have HIV + ve)

        Silly people! We are here to say - "I DON'T CARE WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF ME"


3. Reason it ! Now that you look like a poet, lets find why you have become a poet in the first place. Grab a reason - Love failure, Corruption in the country, Sri Lankan war - to name a few. ( Look at the opposition party's news paper and choose your reason )

4. Be Serious: Forget smiling. After all, you are fuming inside with anger. Don't look at anyone in their eyes. Keep counting the stars when they are talking to you (even if there is day light).

5. Walk the talk: Tell people how you get irritated at stupid talks. You are after all a genius. Let them not talk about power-cuts or price rise or vegetable rice!

6. Quote from memory! Try to memorize famous poems and quotes. Tell them when no one is expecting it. For example if your mom wants to know whether you are going to office, tell her this -
                      Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
                   I took the one less traveled by,
                   And that has made all the difference.

7. Practice makes it perfect : Grab a four-line notebook from your child and start practicing cursive -writing. Have you ever heard of a poet with bad hand writing? No Way!

                                          

8. Choose a place: Please be available on near-by park at week ends. (You can be there at week days also, but no one would notice) Sit at a most isolated place and watch the children playing. Now you are allowed to smile but in general direction.

9. Time for a payback! How many times women at home irritated you? We will take a revenge now - Just keep adding all the used coffee mugs in your room. Throw crushed papers in every possible directions and litter your clothes, especially the inner wares. Poet and Cleanliness - are like Lion and Dolphin, can't be in the same place!

10. Did I forget something?? Oh! ya- the actual 'poems'. Write something which ends/begins rhythmically. Wait, I will give you some example - 
I bow my head and
I saw my bed
It was actually red.           Like it?

If Jack and Jill went on to become the world's most uttered poem, why not yours??

All the best!! Don't forget to give special thanks to me while giving interviews to media. 

With Love
Vigna
:)
Statutory Warning : Sending your poems to me or to my blog is strictly prohibited. (But, I would advice you to send it to actor Dhanush or his brother)


  

12 comments:

  1. >>>Statutory Warning : Sending your poems to me or to my blog is strictly prohibited.

    hahaha ...

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  2. except the first one and hair style,all other points,i experienced lot.u too a good poet

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    Replies
    1. C'mon, I am not a poet and I cannot be one. But that doesn't matter as king-maker is happier than king himself!!! :)

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  3. ha..ha..very nice... I enjoyed reading this article.why did u forget SODAPUTTIKANNAADI?

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    Replies
    1. oh! that's right!

      by the way, you wear glasses? (you can read it this way - 'you write poems?')

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  4. Oh Very nice writing style. It seems you've so much kolaveri for poets. Take care otherwise bright chances are there poets to curse you...

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    Replies
    1. Thanks.. You are right - I've been mocked by my friends who could write beautiful poems. So i have gone one step forward and started making poets!

      they are already cursing me :((

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  5. You are in the nineteenth century.(Please see the photos of Mrs. Kannadasan, Vali, Kavinjar Mu. Metha, Vairamuthu. Times have changed. Subramanian

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    Replies
    1. By the way, they are poets already!! I am here trying desperately to make poets.. Ambiance and outlook creates the attitude of a poet.. hehe :-)

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